Without duality , there is no perception of the “other”.
Cause- effect, knower-known, observer-observed, speaker-listener, and so on.
Talking of listening, the seemingly innocuous process involves so many things. Making some space in your mind to register the words thrown at you, making some sense of what is being said, and retaining the essence of those words(assimilation).
While a mother can listen to a child’s mind from miles away, the truth is that we have so many speakers but few listeners.
Not listening properly is fraught with dangers:-
- You missing out on details
- The speaker getting agitated at your inability to respond as expected
- The conversation taking an unintended turn
Why don’t we listen? Because our minds are occupied by other more interesting, attractive, and “useful” thoughts. You try to keep the background noise alive by courteously giving the speaker the attention deserved. The process involves acting, nodding, and repeating the keywords. Obviously, this leads to incoherent and incomplete understanding.
On top of everything, you are driven so much by your conditioning and prefixed notions that you listen to the person and not the speech. You even have a set conclusion running in the background. You are just waiting for the speaker to stop and confirm your theory, and getting relief from the mild pain between your brows.
Ironically, the era of staying connected has led to disconnected relationships and conversations. The attention span is already very low, the technology more trustworthy than its creator. You expect the speaker to talk using keywords and hashtags and two-minute clips. Shouldn’t we go back to the cave era and start to communicate using drawings?
Unless the listening improves, the energy drain will continue. So much will continue to be spoken without effect. There will be futile presentations and a sleeping audience. Those incomprehensible, seemingly deep, and never-ending “couple” calls will go on forever with no conclusion obviously. The meetings will keep ending with resolutions “to meet again”, with the hope that finally the “one” who actually listens comes up with a breakthrough.
But why are talks inconclusive? Among many factors, one is both parties trying to force their way through the opposition’s mind while simultaneously blocking any rival views from entering their own. Why do people need to go to experts who “listen”? Because they hope that by paying them they earn a right to a dignified hearing. And that is what satisfies a human. Being heard and understood.